


Mycroft's Jet, Actually

by round_robin



Category: Cabin Pressure, Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Actors, Crack, Gen, Mycroft secretly controls the world, Robots, just in case you couldn't tell it from the other tags, the holmes siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-01
Updated: 2013-07-01
Packaged: 2017-12-16 17:57:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/864943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/round_robin/pseuds/round_robin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which: MJN Air is actually owned by Mycroft Holmes--who created it to help his little brother Martin find his way in the world--Carolyn and Douglas are actually hired actors, and Arthur is a robot that keeps malfunctioning and making coffee instead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mycroft's Jet, Actually

**Author's Note:**

> This whole thing started with the thought “what if Arthur were actually a robot, and his default setting is to make coffee? That’s why when he gets confused, he makes them coffee.” And then this happened. Crack-ie definitely. And of course, Mycroft is evil overlord of all.
> 
> Also, it's a bit of my headcanon (which I've written in another story not related to this one, but I rather like it). Basically Martin is Mycroft and Sherlock's younger half-brother. It's kind of been invalidated since series 4 came out, but there you go. Those are the parameters we are operating under for this fic.
> 
> Not beta'd or Brit-picked. All mistakes are mine. If you see a typo, please include it along with your comment and it'll be shot and killed. :)

“And how are we doing?”

The voice startled her. It always did even though these meetings were so regular. It was the way he walked; expensive shoes that made no sound coupled with the way he could glide into a room. Not to say that Mycroft Holmes wasn’t plenty intimidating without this attribute, it simply made him more so.

“Improving.” Carolyn said. “Vastly improving. He has an interview with Swiss Airways tomorrow.”

The permanent crease that always seemed to crack across his forehead lightened some. Carolyn had only ever seen it happen when he spoke of his younger brothers—Martin more so than Sherlock.

“Good,” Mycroft said. “Five years is long in coming but any progress is good. What is his probability of success?”

“Arthur ran the numbers at eighty-five percent.” she said.

The crease was back. “Seems a bit low, especially with the Arthur Bot’s margin of error.”

“That’s just the numbers.” she said. “I think you are forgetting the strange ability your brother has to accidentally stumble through the right door even after he’s closed it and all others. If I were to be so bold, I’d put his chances closer to ninety-five percent.”

Mycroft took a moment to consider, then nodded. “I appreciate the vote of confidence.”

Carolyn seized upon the slight good mood. “While we’re on the subject—”

Mycroft rolled his eyes. “What malfunction has the Arthur Bot sustained this time?”

Carefully keeping her bristle at hearing him called “Bot” to herself, she said: “He keeps making coffee.”

“He is an aeroplane steward.” Mycroft countered. “That is part of his job.”

“Yes,” she agreed. “However, on the last five trips, he’s gotten mixed up and made coffee instead of his appointed task. Once in awhile is understandable, but five times! God forbid it happen during an emergency. We’ll have coffee running down the aisles as Martin panickilly lands us.”

“His emergency programming overrides all other defaults. But I take your point.” He sighed. “Making coffee is his default setting, so it is definitely a problem with the CPU’s connection. Still, with Martin so close to getting out on his own, I’m reluctant to fix the Arthur Bot. Surely we won’t need him for much longer?”

Carolyn tried to stay resolute. Any movement around her employer would result in him knowing the embarrassing truth: she’d grown... attached to Arthur. She hadn’t like the idea of keeping him in her home at first, but leaving him on the plane was ruled out as an option quite early on. He kept hoovering and making coffee while he waited for them to return. God awful mess, wore the carpets thin as well. Yes, he wasn’t real, but maintaining the fiction for so long and keeping him with her had been nice, like having a real family again.

“May I remind you, Ms. Knapp-Shappey, that your job is to help Martin gain a foothold in the world until such a time as he doesn’t need my help, not to get attached to the office equipment.

“If Martin does succeed in getting the position with SA, your contract would be up and the Arthur Bot would no longer be necessary. All numbers are showing that occurrence to be in the very near future. Why should I fix him if he will become unnecessary soon enough?”

She took a breath. She did have an answer for this. “After Martin gets this job, he’ll still want to see us. Possibly visit from time to time. How would I explain the sudden absence of my son?” she said. “I know we’ve been improvising this for five years, but you may have to write me a script for that one.”

Mycroft thought about that for a moment. He did have contacts with some of the greatest writers of the modern era, he _could_ orchestrate that should the need arise. Yet he wasn’t so cold hearted. Carolyn and Douglas had been valued employees for five years. No reason to treat them poorly.

“Contingent on the success of Martin’s interview, I will repair the Arthur Bot. Once this project is finished, he will be yours. Consider it your Christmas bonus.”

Carolyn nodded. “Thank you, Mr. Holmes.”

With a curt nod, he dismissed her and waited for Douglas to enter for their meeting.

The door opened a moment later and the fake first officer sat down. “Mr. Holmes,” he said.

Mycroft gave him a nod. “Mr. Richardson. If you please, tell me about this girlfriend of his.”

  
The End


End file.
